Hurricane Gustav

There is totally a hurricane headed for Nacogdoches as I type this. I will probably be dead before the morning light. I'm in a very dramatic mood.

I woke up this morning just feeling like absolute shit (not physically but mentally). I don't know what it is with me but I have like severe mood swings where one second I will be perfectly happy and the next thing I know the tiniest of things will set me off crying. Sometimes I don't even know what it is I am crying about. It's just sometimes no matter how happy I am or how much fun I am having I just feel like there's something really fucked up with me. Like there's a part of me that's missing or something. It's weird because I honestly have no idea what it is. It gets me into these funks. I'm not really worried about them because they usually only last a couple hours and I cry and get over them but it happens four or five times a week.

This has officially been the most depressing blogpost ever..........

Anyways my pinky finger which I thought I broke is doing a lot better. The swelling has gone down and it's not as colorful as it was. It's kind of hard to type and to write still but I think I'll be 100% in a couple of days.

One more item of business before I go to bed and finish reading the taming of the shrew (which is pretty damn funny btw but I like the Heath Ledger movie wayyyy better sorry shakespeare).

Today I was in one of my moods so I kind of just wanted to be alone so Katie and I went to Wal Mart. We talked for a long time and we just got a lot of things out in the open that needed to be out. I know that Eriniqua is upset at me and I want to say sorry to her but I just think it's better if I leave everyone alone for a while and just focus on school and finding a job because basically every single friendship/boyfriend/thing in my life I always find ways to fuck it up. EVERYTHING. I'm like the mirror opposite of king midas. I'm tired of fucking shit up so from now on I'm just gonna do the right things always and be perfect. I know that will never happen but I'm at least going to strive for it.