Pitching Fits & Physical Violence

Last night (Saturday) I only wanted two things: to see James' roommate and to get crunk. I achieved both of my goals but at a price.

Katie, Jen, Allison and I all went to Lufkin because we were bored as hell and everyone left for the weekend. When we got back we decided to take some shots because we still had half a bottle of vodka left. Jen, Allison and I finished the bottle of Vodka within about 15 minutes and decided to go to James' room to get my pillow that I had left the night before and so that I could show them hot roommate. At the poing James was at work so we didn't have to worry about seeing his face until 11. Well we go to the door and were knocking and knocking and nobody answered. I threw a fit. I claimed that my vagina would explode if he wasn't there in thirty minutes. Then we went outside to smoke a cigarette and my friend Lizzie came by and picked allison and I up because we were going to hang out at her apartment. Allison and I took another shot at Lizzie's and then shotgunned a beer each. Lizzie and Chris were going to leave to go to the bar and we were gonna stay at Lizzie's apartment for a while but then Lizzie decided we were too drunk so she took us back to Steen where we called Katie and she came back. I had like 8 beers in my purse so Allison and I went back to Steen and played ghetto beer pong until we decided we were gonna go back to see if hot roommate was home yet. Well he wasn't so we asked thier neighbors if we could come into thier room and they were like "NO!" so then we were sitting on the floor in the hall and I was about to cry when some guy walked by and I was like hey can we chill in your room. He was like "okay" so we went into his room and talked to him for like 30 minutes until James got home from work. Then I took the beers and by this time I was really really really really out of control. James had just gotten off of work and had threatened to not let me into his room because I was so drunk. I gave him a beer and then he let me in. Allison and he drank another beer and I was like "JAMES GIVE ME A SIP!" and James was like "NO!" so I went to grab it out of his hand and he grabbed my arm and started wrenching it. I screamed and then tried to punch his balls and he got really angry and kicked me twice on my knee. Then supposedly he and Katie started to tell me that James had kissed his roommate and that his roommate was in love with him to make me jealous so I started choking James and he pushed me into his roommate's closet and I now have a giant bruise on my elbow! So then I was like "FINE I HATE YOU!" and we all went outside to smoke another cigarette. Well James wouldn't sit next to me he would only sit next to Allison and I was pissed off. So we all went back into Steen but somehow we got locked out of James' room and my purse was in there so Katie and I assumed that James and Allison were in there and locking us out so we were banging down the door and finally someone came and opened it, but it was not James............

IT WAS HOT ROOMMATE! I was so happy. Not only did he answer the door he let us in and for some reason we have no idea where James and Allison were at this point. So I sat on the floor and Katie was standing there and I was like talking to hot roommate and I was like "where have you been all night?" and he was like "out" and I was like " how come you didn't answer the door!" and he was like "I was in the shower" which was true because his hair was all wet. Then I said "what did you do tonight?" and he said "chilled" and then I started crying because I was really jealous that James and Allison went off without me. So then James calls on my cell phone and was like "where are you?" and I was like "in your room where the fuck are you?" and James was like "NO YOU AREN'T!" and I was like "I BET YOU A MILLION DOLLARS I AM!" and so then I hung up and cried some more. Finally they came back to his room and James was like "oh you were in here" and then I tried to punch his nuts again and he was like "IF YOU DO THAT AGAIN I'LL KICK YOU OUT!" and then I was like really angry so I turned to hot roommate and was like "I lied when I said I wanted to have sex with James I DON'T EVEN LOVE HIM!" and then hot roommate was like "oh okay" and then James said "Good because I wouldn't have sex with you, you're not even my type" and I was like "WE KNOW WHAT YOUR TYPE IS!" which is funny because his roommate doesn't know he's gay. So then James said "well my roommate wants you to get the fuck out of here" and then hot roommate smiled and waved and so I convinced James and Allison to come back to my room and then I kicked them out because I was angry. Finally I went to sleep and woke up 2 hours later because my parents were coming and I really needed to take a shower.

Funniest things from the night:
-Allison spitting in the hallway and elevator
-James and I fighting
-Telling Willie I would do his laundry
-Allison putting beer in a diet dr. pepper can
-Allison spilling beer all over my floor
-Me talking to Johnny about the bible and his hair
-Me crying and saying if I didn't see hot roommate I would die because I love him and then some girl asking how long I've known him and me replying "three days!"
-The fucking kick ass Banenis Allison drew on my arm (a penis coming out of a banana peel)
-Me telling everyone about my Banenis
-Me being jealous of James and Allison & James and his roommate
-Katie smoking a cigar and saying how stressful the night has been
-Having Jen help me clean the banenis off of my arm at like 2 am
-Text messaging James that I never want to see his face again!